Trusting God

Of late, I have been struggling in my mind about my finances. I have always been a prudent person, thanks to my mom who has instill in me even since I was given pocket money for breaks in school. As such, I ALWAYS had money in my accounts. I had managed to save thousands on the day I graduated high school.
However, of the past few months, I had been spending and also been investing my money in the equity market. As you might know, the market has not really been bullish lately. Nonetheless, I'd like to view my investment as a long term plan. But the money is no longer liquid. In addition to that, I was caught in a credit card fraudulent transaction when I lost my card and some unscrupulous person used it for over a thousand bucks. AND I HAD TO PAY FOR IT! According to the bank's fine prints, that is.
Okay, that's to give you a background of what's been happening in my financial life. I have trained myself over the past 2 years to learn to live and let live. Worrying is not for me, I decided. Leave it to God, I decided. This time, it did NOT come so naturally. Yes, I trust God, but still I worry at the back of my mind. I keep wondering where the money is going to come from come next year when I make a trip to Australia with my girlfriend. At the back of my mind, I was calculating where the money is going to come from if I were to marry my girlfriend.

Another more pressing and important matter is that...well, I've been backsliding of the past few months. Church has not been very encouraging, and I have not been very consistent in my attendance. Praying becomes more of a routine rather than a conversation. In a few words, God seems far away.
But I struggle. I struggle to keep God in my life. I am not about to give up, although I really feels like it. I ask God to hold me close, yet I wasn't ready to give Him much of my time. I ask God to keep me from evil, yet I wasn't ready to give my life up to Him. I told God I knew He still loves me, yet I wasn't ready to love Him back in return. I keep struggling back and forth with my weaknesses and sins. Day after day I keep struggling. And I'm really tired.

Minutes ago however, I remembered to read Our Daily Bread, a daily devotion material from RBC Ministries. Guess what? The Bible verse for the day is "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. —Matthew 6:34". It also talks about God providing for the wandering Israelites after they came up out of Egypt. God provided manna for them, but only enough for the day. Instructions were for them to collect ONLY as much as they needed for the day. No more, no less. Similarly, it reminded me to take my finances and my struggles with my sins and weaknesses once day at a time. God will provide sufficient "manna" for me day by day.

Lord, I ask that you will renew my strength, as you will renew those who will be reading this blog. As I wait on you, I claim the fulfillment of your Word that "they who wait on the Lord shal renew their strength, they shall rise with wings like eagle, they shall run and not be weary, walk and not faint". Thank you Lord for constantly providing and loving me. In Jesus' precious name, Amen.

Dave D Saved...Once again